I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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