are you still at the devil's house?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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