As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
