Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
