Cold hands, warm shart.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
