If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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