I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
