If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Banned from zoo.
Again?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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