My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
