ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
