I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
