$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
