Umm I'm too high to move.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
