K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
