3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
