how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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