He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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