i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize