We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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