i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
