My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
