Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
