i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
