Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
