I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
