he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
