Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
