I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
