You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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