Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize