i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
