No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
