Nicole vs. Life
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
