Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
