I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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