I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
