it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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