Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize