Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
