Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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