College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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