i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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