I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
