Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
