I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
