make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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