I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she looked like the before picture.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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