Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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