walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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