Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
