dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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