Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
