so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
