Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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