I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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