Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
