She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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