So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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