we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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