eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
