i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
