She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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