how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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