I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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