So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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