oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
