porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
